Weeks before, I really had a hard time keeping a smile on my face, as I fretfully counted the days before I turned 20. Up until the last day of being a teenager, I was really down and out, trying to amuse myself with everything that wouldn't remind of the dreadful day I turn 20. Luckily, I found solace, as I indulged myself with anything sweet and of course BADMINTON!! Love that sport.

Ok, so 20 is not that old, and maybe I'm over reacting, but its really a big deal for someone like me, a person who sees his teenage years as period of his life wherein he can do anything he wants for no good reason at all, and people can't blame him, because well... ummm... he's a teenager. And for the most part, I have been this teenager. I know it's wrong and I can't really justify my immature mentality, because I'm still well... immature. And now that my teenage years are over, I now for a fact that I must give up this certain mentality I have of what it is to be like a teenager. And that's probably the hardest thing to swallow when you turn 20, your teenage years are over, and certain ideas, beliefs, opinions, and thoughts must go with it. Your immaturity and irrationalities have to go, and certain priorities and responsibilities take their place. But the worst thing I felt was the fact that I was regretting. I regretted the fact that there were still a lot of things I could've, should've or would've accomplished. And there were still a lot of things I wish I did or have experienced while I was still in my teenage years. All these were running through my head, as I waited for that dreadful day.

And yesterday was that dreadful day...

I woke up feeling normal. I still felt like my old-young self. Nothing seemed different. I didn't have any plans whatsoever. Maybe just a simple blow-out with my closest college friends and HS "barkada" afterwards... nothing really special. And so I treated the day as normally as possible, with the exemption of a few greetings and chocolates. *thanks to Jacq and Carla* But trying to accept the fact that I was 20 years old was really something that couldn’t be avoided. It was slowly sinking in. It was something inevitable! I was 20 years old and I should deal with it!

So the day went by... School then yellow cab blah blah blah... I went go on to the specifics, but by the end of the day, I really felt different.

Turning 20 wasn't as depressing as I thought it would be. Yes it was weird, and I wasn't really glad that I just did, but it was altogether something different. I'm not a teenager anymore, and I'm somehow not yet an adult. *ewww... sounds like a Britney song* And that's the weird thing, I don't feel I'm 20 years old, I still feel errrr... ummm... young----er... I guess?

And I hope there's truth in the words of wisdom a classmate of mine shared, "The fun starts here." Its probably the most optimistic thing I've heard and thought-of the whole day. And maybe it will... I hope it will.

 

posted by michael at 6:44 PM .

I'm turning 20 in a few days, and I don't like... wait, I hate it!!

I NEED PROZAC!!!

Someone help me...

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